As a drinker, I tended not to keep beer and wine at my house, mostly because that would lead to drinking every day. I couldn’t have a beer in the fridge and not drink it, the same way people can’t have cookies or ice cream around (I also don’t usually keep those stocked at home, either).
And, yet, I still loved when I knew there was a glass of wine or IPA to be had. As I drudged through the work day, I would think about that beverage waiting for me, my own little medal at the finish line. Then, when it was time to indulge, I would savor that beer, often eliminating other distractions so I could give it my full attention to the beer.
Now that I don’t drink, I still look forward to that moment when I can indulge at the end of a long day, now it’s just with a La Croix and piece of dark chocolate. I wait all day for my La Croix, and at home after dinner has been made and cleaned up, I pour it into a wine glass and savor. Sometimes, I trick myself into thinking it’s just as good as a beer.
Tomorrow, will mark six months left in my journey of sobriety. It does feel like a long way to go, but it wasn’t easy sailing to get this far. I am changing from a drinker into a non-drinker and finding pride for my sobriety. This challenge came with much more emotional investigation than I anticipated, but I am glad to be on this journey. No matter what happens in six months, the bareness of sobriety has helped me go a bit deeper into who I am.
On to the next six months.
Best part of sobriety: This post is short because I am consumed with my book right now and trying to get the next draft done in six weeks. Waking up each morning early and with a clear mind is necessary to keep on pace.
Worst part of sobriety: I can’t run, again. My hip issues are a mess, complicated further by insurance and a doctor who is moving practices. I am still hopeful I can run this summer, but that may or may not be marathon training running.